Jim’s Story
Submitted by Jim
“It was 9 years ago when I stumbled into Focus. I had tried an outpatient program and did ok, joined AA and had a great sponsor. He was a Vietnam Vet, sober for 27 years who knew I wasn't done. I still needed more help, relapsed and he saved my life the morning he drove me to Focus in 2011 which began my true recovery over alcohol. I was a 53-year-old man who needed and wanted to be done.
I struggled with guilt having a son with an illness I could not fix, and I turned to alcohol for what I thought was a nightly respite from the guilt, but it was always there the next day. As the days went on, it took more and more alcohol to bury the guilt.
While at Focus it all came out, I learned I didn't have to find an escape but rather accept my situation, love myself which made me stronger for me and my son. I had left much damage in my wake with my wife who dealt with the illness in her way and while I was trying to find a way out, a way to heal, she wanted nothing to do with healing and eventually our 28 years together ended. That ending freed us both to start anew which has led to a much stronger healthier relationship for us and for the time we had left with our son. He passed from his illness 5 years ago. My recovery at Focus addressed so much more than my drinking. It addressed why I was drinking, helped me to see why and how to stop using. My recovery gave me a freedom I had never felt. To love and care for myself versus always thinking I was doing all for others fooling myself daily. Focus also prepared me to know my issues of drinking were unresolved and would need to be dealt with sober following treatment. Having a follow-up counselor was critical to getting my life in order following treatment.
My life today 9 years later has been amazing and freeing. In my recovery I experienced divorce, loss of our family home, the passing of my sister to ALS and then my son 6 months later and through it all I had no thoughts of escaping to alcohol. Focus gave me so much more than sobriety. I got my life back and learned to live life on life's terms accepting that I am not in control nor want to be in control of all that happens. To accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. To let go and let GOD!
In my 9 years of sobriety I have discovered that a key ingredient to staying clean is helping others. I returned to my AA group and continued in therapy for 2 years in Tennessee prior to my relocation to Texas. Starting a new life came with a new job, a new city and a fresh new beginning. A new church brought me to a new AA group which led to being asked to Elder at my church which has led to us starting our own AA group and helping others recovery working with a local treatment center where I volunteer when able.
I cannot thank Focus enough for caring for me while in my addiction. For caring for me as family working daily to bring out the pain and issues that led me to the bottle. The freedom to love myself, care for myself which gave me the ability to truly care for others.
I pray for those who have not yet walked in the door at Focus. I pray they find that door and experience the miracle of sobriety that has changed my life forever......one day at a time!
Special thanks to Margie and the entire staff who cared for me as family in my recovery.”